Parents For Life

Week 7 - Teaching

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"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching"

Proverbs 1:8

Parents are to be the the primary teachers of their children.  The purpose of teaching our children is to impart wisdom, understanding, and knowledge.

There are many aspects of teaching our children :

1. Teach Your Child God's Word  (2 Timothy 3:16)

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Teaching our child God's Word is not a harsh demand for memorization of verses.  Instead we are to share what He says about them and their lives during our everyday comings and goings. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

2. Teach Your Children Who They Are In Christ  (Galations 2:20)

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A child's self esteem isn't rooted in performance - it's rooted in being. By confirming who your children are in the Lord will help them focus on God's plan, not what they can or can't do. Knowing who they are in Christ will :

(a) help a child overcome weakness

(b) affirm and encourage a child

(c) build trust between you and the child

(d) teach a cild lasting truths

(e) communicate your love and care

(f) construct character in your child

(g) lead to long-term growth and maturity

(h) strengthen your relationship with your child

3. Teach Your Child to Pray  (Luke 11:1)

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Praying is talking and listening to the Lord. Children learn to pray by watching parents pray. A child learns good habits of prayer when prayer is proactive, not reactive, in the home. By staying in an attitude of prayer both parents and children are ready for life's ups and downs.

4. Teach Your Child to Obey  (Deuteronomy 28:2)

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Children should be taught to obey and respect authority. Early in childhood a child should be taught to make simple right from wrong decisions. A consciousness of right and wrong ensures a cild will be more careful in dealing with others and with God. Learning to obey parents is the first step in learning to obey God.

5. Teach Your Child to Love  (John 15:12)

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Teach your child and show your child the love of God by the close interaction you have with Him. Teach your child to love others, even those difficult to love. Your child will be watching to see if you express love to others. Saying one thing and doing another teaches a child hypocrisy, not love.

6. Teach your Child to Make Wise Choices   (Deuteronomy 30:19)

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Steps in teaching your child to make right from wrong decisions:

(a) Consider the choice. Step back from the decision and consider all the choices facing you.

(b) Compare to God. Determine which choice(s) line up with God's nature and truth.

(c) Count the cost. Understand that right choices may result in short-term pain and long long-term gain. Wrong choices often bring immediate pleasure and self-gratification but result in long-term harvest of sorrow and pain. Children re faced with important decisions every day. You cannot anticipate every decision your child will have to make.   Equip your child to make right choices even when you are not with them.

(d) Choose the right. When you know what is right, do it.

7. Teach Your Child To Take Responsibility  (1 John 1:9)

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Teach your child to take responsibility for their feelings and actions. Children who take responsibility for their own actions have a greater desire to change their actions. Blaming others only creates a victim mentality in the child.  Once a child has ventilated, teach him or her how to express feelings and thoughts respectfully and in a kind manner. To teach, though, you must first listen, understand, and respond with edification instead of attacking what your child has said.

8 Teach You Child To Solve Problems  (Philippians 4:13)

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Solving problems means children learn to take steps that will eventually lead them out of the problem and into the solution. Solution don't help instantly, but step-by-step. With God's help any problem can be solved. Do not train children to cope-survive in spite of problems. Coping allows problems to go unsolved while falsely believing they will just go away. Problem solving faces problems and finds solution.

Problem solving skills are not caught, they are taught. Taught by example. Your child watches you solve problem. Then they are taught verbally. You go through the process of arriving at solutions and answer the child's questions about the process along the way. As your child begins solving problems, play back for her what she did in solving the problem. Initially it takes a lot of time to teach a child to problem solve, but in the long run a child will learn to make right decisions.

9. Teach Your Child To Distinguish Between Wants and Needs

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Children need help distinguishing between what they need and what they want. Wants are based on immediate urges that aren't necessary for a child's health, safety, and well-being. Look for ways to meet your child's needs instead of gratifying his or her wants just to keep the child "out of your hair".

The majority of our teaching and training needs to focus on do's. Within your child's boundaries there are acceptable actions and attitudes that bring blessing. Teach you child to express needs in a positive manner: e.g "I'm hungry. What can we eat?" "I'm thirsty, may I have a drink?" "I'm cold. I need a coat." "I'm tired. I need to rest." You can respond to needs by meting them or explaining what will be done. Example "You need to do a fun, creative activity if you are bored."

A life filled with 'don'ts' is very frustrating.

Focus on what a child can do to met his or her need instead of what he or she can't do to meet a want.

10. Teach Your Child to Choose Blessing Rather Than Cursing  (Deuteronomy 30:19)

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It is important to understand your child has choices just like you do.  Every day your child faces choices that will determine whether he or she walks in God's blessings. Blessing comes from serving only God. Curses come from disobedience and worship of self or another god. As we sow love and compassion into our children, they will be equipped to love God and others. By so doing they will choose to bless, not to curse.

11. Teach Your Child to Have Purpose and To Plan  (Jeremiah 29:11)

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Children need to know they were created for a godly purpose. You need to help them discover that purpose before they make plans for their future. Children need to know that what they do today will affect their tomorrow. Help them see if their plans line up with God's purpose for them. Anything that contributes to God's plan is on purpose.

Start Fresh Today

Perhaps going through all these lessons you have thought of things you have done or said in training and teaching your children you now know are unproductive. Even now as you set out to do things correctly, you may discover you make mistakes along the way. You may react emotionally or rashly to our children's behavior.  And in moment of stress may react and do or say things we know are wrong. When we recognize we are doing these things, we need to repent immediately. Our children learn to repent by imitating our repentance. The hardest three words a parent may ever have to say to a child are, "I was wrong." Such confessions can uild trust and intimacy between parents and children. We train our children to confess and repent by modeling.

Admit It

When you realize you were wrong says, "I was wrong when...... Will you forgive me?" Teach your child to say and do the same thing.

Quit It

Stop doing what is wrong. The fruit of sincere repentance is a change in direction. Teach your child about true repentance by example.

Forget It

Neither you nor your child has permission to bring up past sins that have been confessed and forgiven. Teach your child to forget and let go of their past failures and mistakes as well as your.

Next lesson - Release